Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Hello, Doormat

I never thought I’d be doing this again. However, thanks to Lauren’s machinations and discovery of my now-defunct blog (which can be seen in all its cached glory if you look for it), I’ve decided to take another crack at invading the internet.

Because she insisted I did.

If you knew me well, you’d know that I highly favor the female of the species, to the point that I do ridiculous things to make sure they’re safe, happy, and comfortable. A few shiny examples include carting them off on wheelchairs all around the university campus just so they wouldn’t have to hobble around on a sprained ankle; taking a cab with them all the way to far, far Marikina at around 3am just so they wouldn’t have to take a cab all the way to far, far Marikina at around 3am alone; and covering myself in dust as I rifled through archaic school files to find that one essay I wrote in English class that they asked to read again. I will also, apparently, start a blog because they asked me to.

Alpha males around the world would be aghast at my confessions of such… pansy-ness, but I don’t really mind. In fact, I’ll say it out loud: I FAVOR WOMEN. I do my best to ensure they feel nice and dandy about themselves and the world around them. I will swallow my pride, wash the dishes, lend my jackets, take the danger side while crossing the street, stay up listening while the guy they’re dating is sleeping off his drunken stupor, give back rubs, offer a shoulder to cry on, and even involve myself in their shopping should they ask. And all this without the slightest thought of getting into their pants.

But this doesn’t make me a doormat. Hell no. I respect myself too much. I do what I do because I respect the women, too. They are incredible human beings and deserve to be treated as such. Here are a few reasons why:

1. They Do a LOT of Shit
Gone are the days of house wenches. Women these days are more than capable of doing what we guys do, and are an integral part of our society. They work in just about every industry one can think of and yet they find the time to put up with our (stereotypical) man-shit, like the aversion to housekeeping. So why not help? If you’re lucky enough to have your lady cook for the two of you, do the damn dishes. Help her open cans and chop stuff. The busy man of the 1950’s cannot expect to be babied anymore – everyone is busy these days, so everyone deserves to have their load lightened, even just a little bit.

Don’t even get me started on child-bearing…

2. They Give a Damn, and Aren’t Afraid to Show It
I personally find it hard to open up to guys. There’s something about how women look more for an emotional connection rather than just information in conversations that is just a hell of a lot more satisfying. And what guy doesn’t love getting those “Awwww”s and hugs the ladies seem to be so proficient at when he’s letting off some steam?

The ladies aren’t afraid to show they care about you, and that’s what makes them great. They give a shit about whether or not the cut of your shirt makes you look fat. They care enough to realize that there are times when you just want someone to listen and not offer any advice when you rant. The subtle inflections in their voices and tiny twitches on their faces let you know that maybe buying several chainsaws to hang as decorations in your room isn’t the most practical (or even smartest) thing to do, but they give a fuck about your feelings, so they do their damn best to manage these nuances of human interaction.

They’re awesome because they care. Period.

3. They are Lovely

4. They Widen Our Worlds
Women have this whole other spectrum of fun that most guys typically avoid, because either A) it’s just too feminine and I’ll be gay for doing it, or B) society tells us it’s A. We men tend to veer ourselves away from ballroom dancing, romantic comedies, and getting a manicure. But when we allow ourselves to open up and let the ladies take us to these things, we discover that the tango is actually pretty fun (sexy, too), that we can take a few tips from Hugh Grant on being charming bastards, and that pampering your nails is actually more relaxing than it sounds.

5. They Make Us Smarter
When the ladies don’t directly say what they want, it can be frustrating. Fights can happen and grudges formed when you don’t get her that vintage jewelry she’s been hinting about for her birthday. And yet, deep down, you have to admit that you learn from these experiences. You learn to decipher the hints, and you eventually develop a knack for knowing what would make people happy without them even asking. You learn to read and deal with people better.

Oh, and they tend to read more, too. They make our brains more smarter.

I can say so much more, but this has gone on for far too long as it is. The bottom line is this – I believe women make our lives better, and so I feel we should try our best to do the same for them. It isn’t about chivalry (or, god forbid, chauvinism). It’s about acknowledging how they affect our lives and appreciating them. So hurrah for women and all that; give them the love they deserve and do things for them.

And that is why I’m writing again.

Read on >